Wonderfull Cullen OneShots
by Edward's Futre Girlfriend
Summary: It's a collection of OneShots that sometimes pop into my head...this is my second story thingy, so bear with me..
1. Cullen Carols

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, their stephanie's…and the idea for this I give credit to someone who did it before me and inspired me (but I can't remember their username, so bear with me)

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I wanted to Cullen-ify some X-mas carols so here you go: To the Tune of Jingle Bells: 

Jingle Bells, Grizzly's Smell, Emmett ran away;

The Cullen-mobile lost a wheel,

And Alice ran that way.

Dashing through the snow,

Through the tiny town of Forks,

In a shiny car,

Laughing all the way.

HA HA HA

Bella's Face is red,

Emmett's making fun,

Edward's glaring hard,

Which will end in a fight.

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AN-That's as far as I got…but I had fun...hope u liked it 


	2. Emmett's Time of the Month

Disclamer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, most of this is mine, but only the tutu part was borrowed. Hope u like:

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Bella's POV:

Alice had taken me shopping, and we had been at the mall ALL DAY. Currently we were sitting in the food court, me eating, Alice tapping her foot impatiently "Alice" I complained "I have enough clothes to last me a millennium"

"No Bella, we…" Alice trailed off, her face and eyes going blank. When she snapped out of it she got an evil glint in her eyes "we have one more store to go to, and it will take less then five minutes, so hurry up Bella." Judging by the urgency it meant that something good was gonna happen, so I willingly hurried.

After I was done we walked in the general direction of the car when all of a sudden we stopped in front of Radio Shack. I looked at Alice quizzically, but I followed her in to the store nonetheless. We walked out carrying a bag that held a video camera and film for the aforementioned camera. Alice then rushed me to the car muttering something about wanting to get there in time. On the way home she drove at 150+ MPH, I was literally glued to the seat. In less than 20 minutes we were in front of the house. "Leave the bags and come with me." Alice whispered while grabbing the camera. She stepped out of the car and walked to the house while I followed her. When she opened the door we were met with the weirdest most disturbing sight of all. _"No wonder she needed a camera"_ I thought to myself. In front of me I saw Emmett singing Barbie Girl in a pink apron…WITH NOTHING UNDERNEATH IT!!! **(AN- Thanks to Heartless Poison for this idea…when you told me about it I just had to try it out.)** I turned to Alice and saw her stifling laughter "Alice you never mentioned this is what would happen" I whispered to her. At this point Emmett decided to turn around with a shocked expression on his face "ALICE!!!" he half yelled, half whined. At that point I lost it and started laughing like crazy. Out of nowhere Rosalie appeared next to Alice "What's going…" Rosalie started, till she saw her husband, then she exploded "OMC, Emmett McCarty Cullen get your ass upstairs this instant and put some fucking clothes on NOW." At that point Alice and I fell to the floor from so much laughter. Alice then stood up and went to hide the tape, leaving me alone with Rosalie in the family room. "So," I started awkwardly, I still wasn't used to her being nice to me, but we were getting closer, "where you when your husband decided to put on a show?" I asked her while I looked at the stuff glued to the kitchen ceiling _"Esme won't be too happy about that"_ I thought, and the toppled and sometimes broken furniture.

Rosalie looked me dead in the eyes and answered "Hiding, today was his time of the month, and we all know better than to stick around for it." I was shocked to thing that sweet and funny Emmett could scare his family that much. _Mental note to self: heed this warning…Whenever Emmett is in his "time of the month" RUN!!!_

A few minuets later Emmett came downstairs With clothes on Thank God..."Emmett..." I asked tentavely "Why is there gunk on the roof of the kitchen" Emmett's face practically lit up. "Well Bella, I thought you might be hungry so I tried to cook you something." he ran off and was back in less than a second holding something that looked vaguely like dog poop "Do you like it?" he asked proudly. "Well, it sure looks intersting..." I answered, at a loss for words, then fearing he would ask me to taste it I hurridly added "But I already ate, so I'm not really hungry." Emmet then proceeded to shove the tray under my nose and ask me if I was sure. That sure did it, I was off, and running to the bathroom, where my lunch made a reappearence much to my chagrin.

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I know it's short, but im only doing a couple of one shots whenever I think of something intersting. so yeah... 


	3. Eddie NO!

OK, here's my new one-shot...this one occured to me when i was watching finding nemo...so yeah...it's cute, and short, but it's the best i could think of...i don't own any characters, they are all stephenie's...NOT MINE

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I was so glad to get home from school, you have no idea how much work those teachers can pile on…anyways; when I got home I was greeted by a pretty Lab, followed promptly by Charlie. "Hey Bells," he said with a big grin "Surprise! Jerry, from the precinct, was giving this little guy away, so I decided to get him for you." "OMC, DAD, I can't believe you got me a puppy!!! Thanks so much" I exclaimed while hugging him, after picking up my pretty puppy of course. How he knew I like labs is beyond me, but I'm glad he got it. "OMC, I have to go show Alice!" I exclaimed as I got my new puppy and ran (not really) to my truck so I could go to the Cullen's. 20 minutes later, I was there.

As I parked my car in front of the garage, a white and black blur, and a brown and white on, made their way to the front of the house. Alice must have seen the puppy because before I could blink my door was open and my puppy was in Alice's hands. "OMC, Bella he's so cuuuuuute!" Alice squealed, while holding the puppy in one hand, and keeping Emmett at bay with the other. "Nice to see you too Alice" I said while taking back my puppy. "Alice, Emmett, meet…oh no!" I exclaimed. "'Oh No,' that's a funny name for a dog…" Emmett mused. "No Emmett, I mean I forgot to name him" I exclaimed. I brought the puppy up to my eye level, receiving a big, sloppy kiss on my face. "Hmmmm," I mused "What to name you?" Through all of this Alice was now unpacking all the things she had bought my puppy, and imagining what else to buy him. I sat on the ground, followed by Emmett, while Alice sat on the bench. "Oh, I know, how about Bob!" Emmett suggested. "Bob?" Alice asked skeptically while raising an eyebrow. "Yes Bob, it's short, sweet, and fun to say." He defended while taking the puppy from me. "That is true, but no Emmett….Ohhhh, I know, how about Eddie?" Alice squealed "Yeah, Eddie is perfect!" I took the puppy from Emmett and brought it back to my eye level, "All right then, Eddie it is. I shall call him Eddie, and he shall be mine, and he shall be my Eddie." I quoted from my favorite animated movie Finding Nemo.

Suddenly I had an idea "Hey let's play fetch with Eddie." Alice left, and in less than a second was back with a rubber ball, which I promptly threw into the shrubs, little Eddie following it faithfully. After a few minutes Eddie came out of the shrubs without the ball, followed by Edward who was tossing the ball up and down. "Edward!!!" I squealed as I ran to him. "Oh Bella, how I missed you." He said while catching me and taking in my "alluring" scent. As we embraced I noticed Eddie going to Esme's flower-bed, and fearing the worst I exclaimed "Eddie NO!" which startled Edward "What do you mean 'no'?" he asked, "What did I do?" he asked crestfallen. At first I was confused, but then comprehension dawned on me. I stepped out of his arms and picked up Eddie who was weaving between my feet. "Edward, meet Eddie; Eddie, Edward." I stated, pointing between my puppy and my love. Comprehension finally dawned on Edward's face as he started to laugh.

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Ok, here's my newest chapter ...i know it's short, but bear with me...and pls review, you know, the cute periwinkle button at the bottom, yeah, pressi t... 


	4. KaraokeEdwardBella's turn

**IM WRITINGGGG...insert squeal of joy...ok, so school is over, has been for a while, and i got a sudden bout of inspiration...imma continue writing...again, sorry for the hiatus, but im here...so here it is chapter one of this little mini series inside a series...exactly, more than one chapter to this... **

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**Bella POV**

OMG, I can't believe Alice roped me into this….she knows I hate karaoke.

"All right everyone, let's set the rules" the evil pixie began "I have already seen which songs you're going to sing, so I made a CD. First each couple will sing, when all couples are done then we go to individuals. Bella and Edward are first;" hearing this I was about to die, so I started making plans on how to escape, but then Alice got that look in her eye, her vision look, and I knew I was busted "and since Bella was planning on escaping, now they have to do two songs"

"BUT ALICEEEEEEEEEE…I can't sing…." I whined

"No buts Bella, you tried to escape you pay the price. Now, as I was saying, Bella and Edward go first, then Rose and Emmett, then Jasper and I, and then last but not least Carlisle and Esme. Then when we're all done it's gonna be Me, Rose, Bella, Esme, Edward, Emmett, Jasper and Carlisle. Get it, got it, good. Let's begin."

I glanced at Edward and he noticed my nervousness, which was diminishing thanks to Jasper. "Don't worry Love, I won't let you fall"

We went up to the stage and suddenly the music to **"Come What May" from Moulin Rouge **came on

**Edward**:

Never knew I could feel like this  
Like I've never seen the sky before  
I want to vanish inside your kiss  
Every day I'm love you more than this  
Listen to my heart, can you hear it sings  
Telling me to give you everything  
Seasons may change, winter to spring  
But I love you until the end of time

Chorus:  
Come what may  
Come what may  
I will love you until my dying day

**Me**:

Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place  
Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace

**Both**:

Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste

**Me**:

It all revolves around you

**Both:**

And there's no mountain too high  
No river too wide  
Sing out this song I'll be there by your side  
Storm clouds may gather  
And stars may collide  
But I love you until the end of time

Chorus

Oh, come what may, come what may  
I will love you, I will love you  
Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place

Chorus

As soon as we finished the Cullen's were looking at me wide eyed

"Thanks goodness you can't sing Bella" Alice replied sarcastically

I stuck my tongue out at her and waited for the next song….turns out it was **No Air by Chris Brown and Jordin Sparks**

**Me:**  
Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air  
If I should die before I wake  
It's 'cause you took my breath away  
Losing you is like living in a world with no air  
Ohh

**Edward:**  
I'm here alone, didn't wanna leave  
My heart won't move, it's incomplete  
wish there was a way that I can make you understand

**Me:**  
But how do you expect me  
to live alone with just me  
'Cause my world revolves around you  
It's so hard for me to breathe

**Both **Chorus:  
Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air  
Can't live, can't breathe with no air  
That´s how I feel whenever you ain't there  
that's no air, no air  
Got me out here in the water so deep  
Tell me how you gonna be without me  
If you ain't here, I just can't breathe  
there's no air, no air

No air, airohhh  
No air, airnooo  
No air, airoh a  
No air, air

**Edward:**  
I walked, I ran, I jumped, I flew  
Right off the ground to float to you  
There's no gravity to hold me down for real

**Me:**  
But somehow I'm still alive inside  
You took my breath, but I survived  
I don't know how, but I don't even care

**Both  
**So how do you expect me  
to live alone with just me  
'Cause my world revolves around you  
It's so hard for me to breathe

Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air  
Can't live, can't breathe with no air  
there's how I feel whenever you ain't there  
there's no air, no air  
Got me out here in the water so deep  
Tell me how you gonna be without me  
If you ain't here, I just can't breathe  
there's no air, no air

No air, airoohhh  
No air, airoohhh  
No air, airnooo  
No air, airNo more  
It's no air, no air

ohhhhh baby  
ooohhhhh It's no air, no air  
Hey ohh no aiiiiir ohhh  
ooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhh

Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air  
Can't live, can't breathe with no air  
It's how I feel whenever you ain't there  
no breathingno breathing  
Got me out here in the water so deep  
Tell me how you gonna be without me  
If you ain't here, I just can't breathe  
It's no air, no air

Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air  
Can't live, can't breathe with no air  
It's how I feel whenever you ain't there  
it's no air no air  
Got me out here in the water so deep

Tell me how you gonna be without me

If you ain't here, I just can't breathe

It's no air, no air  
No air, airohhh  
No air, air  
No air, air  
No air, air

Everyone was clapping as soon as we were done, and I breathed a sigh of relief, handed the mic to Alice, and sat down next to Edward on the couch. Next were Rose and Emmett.

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**All right...it's gonna take a few chapters to finish this little one shot (so it's not really a oneshot, but w/e) and they are already written...but here's the kicker, im not posting unless i hear replies :P...so plz R&R, tell all ur friends u want a new chapter and to reply...it's gonna take at least 5 to get me to update (yes five, im not those kind of ppl who ask for 100 on the first try) so enjoy ppl**


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